Dreams and Disillusion

This morning while I was looking underneath my bed, I discovered a journal from nine years ago. Back then, I was having vibrant and very vivid dreams. Whenever I woke from those dreams, I would write them down in my journal and try to find out what the dream was telling me about myself. I never thought they possessed some message about what I should do, but rather that they revealed something I was feeling deep inside. Also, I thought some of them might come in handy when I got stuck with my writing.

Well, of course, I sat down and read the journal. There were two dreams that I detailed that shook me even when I read them today. One detailed a dream I had about the guy I was involved with. At the beginning of the dream, I’m pushing him in a wheelchair, the wheelchair somehow disappears and we end up walking into a restaurant. Before making it into the restaurant, there was a suspicious-looking guy following us, and I picked up something to protect us. (lol) Once we made it into the restaurant, I noticed a line of women sitting against the wall at the front. The guy and I go eat dinner. When we come back, the women are still there. Suddenly, my guy takes the keys that belong to one of the women and takes off. She runs off after them and then one of the other women starts talking about how they are exes and that he wrote the song for her that made him famous. Oh yeah, at some point, he became Prince. So, anyway, I call my mom and she comes to get me.

So, the next night I dream about my dad. In this dream, my dad and I are driving with his brother to find a car for my dad. Long story short, some guys from my dad’s past are standing before us and they take him and beat him up. They take him into this trailer type structure and I’m standing on the outside. I am banging and begging to get inside. When I finally do get inside, there is a row of beds holding men that they have beat up. I find the one with my dad and throw him over my shoulder. I take my dad out to the car where my uncle is still waiting. Then I wake up.

I felt shook after reading about these dreams from nine years ago. I went up to the school to try and get my classroom ready for the coming school year, but I was feeling too distressed to get into it. So, I left. At home, I keep thinking of two things. I saw this motivational card the other day that said: Follow your dreams. They know the way. The other thing I keep thinking about is my dream to be a published author. Well, a successfully published author.

Do I have any answers for how any of this fits or am I just rambling? I don’t know. I just know that today I have felt disillusioned by my dreams. The ones I had when I was asleep. And the waking dream that motivates me to spend every day writing. My heart hasn’t been in anything today.

Maybe the message is perseverance; who knows?

Peace & Love,

Rosalind 

 

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About Rosalind Guy

I'm broken & my soul is weary/ my weary soul rebels, fights/ anything & anyone who tries to heal me/I beat my head against a wall of memories/ trying hard to break free from the chain of memories/ I can only be free by saying it so/ i weave a necklace from words and finally/ I find freedom/ free free free. As you can see, words are powerful to me. As Maya Angelou said, words are wallpaper of the soul. I have lots of nightmarish memories that threaten to break me, but I learned a long time ago about the power of words. They can be used to heal and destroy anything that threatens to destroy the person. Words coupled with love have the power to save and heal. I am author of three books: Skinny Dipping in the Pool of Womanhood, Tattered Butterfly Wings, and Blues of a Love Junkie. I am a high school English teacher. I am a former reporter. I am a mother. I am a woman. I am a fierce advocate for those who cannot speak for themselves, those who's voices go unheard. Check out my Amazon author page at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/Rosalind-Guy/e/B00BGH5F88/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1432491754&sr=8-1.
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