Suicide Note

A Poem:

 

Suicide Note

I washed the mirror with
my tears and exposed all
my fears. As I wiped the
drops of sadness away, I
scrubbed away the layer
of protection that hid the
truth. I’ve always been
crying inside and knew how
to hide the tears beneath
a veil of intensely loving others.

I loved you because I couldn’t
love myself. Helped you and
never asked for help. I’ve always
been broken but you didn’t know
I hid behind the shadows of
“Do unto others as you would
have them…”

If, just once, you bothered to look
inside of me, you might have seen
that little girl inside who had stood
in the same place year after year
with tears in her eyes.

A little girl who possesses
the kind of sadness that stares
longingly at a bottle of pain
relievers wondering if the secret
of happy-ness lives at the bottom
of the bottle. Can I? Will I? Can
I? thoughts that whirl around
my head like wisps of cigarette smoke,
she thought she was blowing bubbles.
Doubt paralyzes me and I can only
wonder if the wispy thoughts will
once and for all strangle me,
snuff the life out of me.

I can’t breathe when my
throat is full of pain
pills and I can’t scream when
nobody is around to hear
me. So I stuff my pain and put
it off again, but I know one day
soon I will get the strength
to dry the tears from the mirror
and from that little girl’s eyes.

 

Peace & Love,

Rosalind

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About Rosalind Guy

I'm broken & my soul is weary/ my weary soul rebels, fights/ anything & anyone who tries to heal me/I beat my head against a wall of memories/ trying hard to break free from the chain of memories/ I can only be free by saying it so/ i weave a necklace from words and finally/ I find freedom/ free free free. As you can see, words are powerful to me. As Maya Angelou said, words are wallpaper of the soul. I have lots of nightmarish memories that threaten to break me, but I learned a long time ago about the power of words. They can be used to heal and destroy anything that threatens to destroy the person. Words coupled with love have the power to save and heal. I am author of three books: Skinny Dipping in the Pool of Womanhood, Tattered Butterfly Wings, and Blues of a Love Junkie. I am a high school English teacher. I am a former reporter. I am a mother. I am a woman. I am a fierce advocate for those who cannot speak for themselves, those who's voices go unheard. Check out my Amazon author page at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/Rosalind-Guy/e/B00BGH5F88/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1432491754&sr=8-1.
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