When I first started giving birth, the older people in my family would chastise me for holding my babies too much. “You shouldn’t run right over there as soon as they start crying and pick them up. You’re going to spoil them.”
Those words of wisdom often fell on deaf ears. My mother heart could not stand to hear my babies crying. I would go through the routine: checking diapers, seeing if they were hungry, etc., and then if they were still upset, I would sit and talk to them. I would play with them. I would spoil them with mother love.
These days it’s well known how important touch and engagement are to newborn babies. Babies who are denied touch and engagement are at risk for developing social, emotional, and behavioral issues later on in life. We all need to feel loved. Even our babies.
Love is one of the most powerful emotions in our arsenal of emotions, without it we can quickly go through the stratum of emotions: anger, fear, hurt, rejection, depression, disappointment, and some people even become suicidal when they don’t feel loved. Yet, as powerful as love is, it is not always given with honest intentions.
In her book, Salvation, Bell Hooks argues, it’s easier to acquire material possessions than to acquire love. “We use the satisfaction of material longing to deny the need to love and be loved.” So, sometimes we love things instead of people. And, not only that, sometimes people prey on those who love them in order to have material comforts. It’s an old song, I know. There’s nothing new here.
We all have seen the stereotypical young girl dating the 70-something year old guy, either on TV or in reality. And, our first thought is “uh huh, he must be rich.” With the low value that is placed on love, some people tend to believe that it’s better not to love at all, so they don’t risk being hurt. Either way, it’s obvious that love is no longer valued and, oftentimes, it’s in favor of satisfying other superficial desires.
A superficial wound doesn’t sustain as much damage as a deep wound.
Love has the power to be our salvation and, so, it’s a shame that we don’t value true, authentic love as much as other things that really don’t matter. But, hey, that’s just my two cents.
I have no expectations about love
is the lie she told me & herself.
In reality, she did have expectations.
She expected love to hurt.
She expected love to end.
She expected love to hide.
She expected love to withhold.
She expected love to lie, but most of all,
She expected love to break her heart
even though it came to love already broken in places.
Peace & Love,