Loving you is just too damn heavy.
I’ve been dragging around
the albatross of your love,
trying to hold my head up,
trying to keep my head up,
without letting go. Hoarding your love
like some people hold onto things
they’ve grown accustomed
to having around. Like shoes I can
no longer wear and books I no longer
want to read, I’m keeping your love around
just because it’s familiar to me.
I keep dragging the black garbage bag
filled with your love
through rooms in the house,
a house that should have long ago
An albatross is not a gift
for showing off to friends,
though some would be jealous to find
that their albatross looks nothing like mine.
So I hide it beneath layers of
insecure phrases, words.
At the end of the day
it’s only words that I have.
I keep looking into
your hooded eyes, searching
for a place to hide.
But the unwieldy weight of
what has become of loving you
keeps me from being able to fit
in the small places you provide
My head & my heart
have grown heavy
‘cuz your love keeps dragging me
down. Loving you is like killing
one cut at a time.
It’s like trying to float
while being w
Loving you, it seems, has very little
to do with love after all.
And that’s why I keep falling
under the heavy weight of the
tied around my neck,
it’s choking the life out of me.
And here we both stand
for surviving the death defying feat
of loving you while struggling to breathe.
And even when you learned how to breathe
for me, when you could breathe for me,
you chose not to.
And now, because of you
the mere thought of love
conjures images of drowning,
being caught in the undertow
of flesh & desires
trying to find a way to move away
so I can final breathe
& take your diamond-encrusted albatross
from around my weak neck.
Peace & Love,