Albatross Around My Neck

Loving you is just too damn heavy.
I’ve been dragging around
the albatross of your love,
trying to hold my head up,
trying to keep my head up,
without letting go. Hoarding your love
like some people hold onto things
they’ve grown accustomed
to having around. Like shoes I can
no longer wear and books I no longer
want to read, I’m keeping your love around
just because it’s familiar to me.

I keep dragging the black garbage bag
filled with your love
through rooms in the house,
a house that should have long ago
been abandoned.

An albatross is not a gift
for showing off to friends,
though some would be jealous to find
that their albatross looks nothing like mine.
So I hide it beneath layers of
insecure phrases, words.
At the end of the day
it’s only words that I have.

I keep looking into
your hooded eyes, searching
for a place to hide.
But the unwieldy weight of
what has become of loving you
keeps me from being able to fit
in the small places you provide
for me.

My head & my heart
have grown heavy
‘cuz your love keeps dragging me
down. Loving you is like killing
myself
one      cut      at      a       time.
It’s like trying to float
while being w
e
i
g
h
ted down.

Loving you, it seems, has very little
to do with love after all.
And that’s why I keep falling
under the heavy weight of the
albatross
tied around my neck,
even though
it’s choking the life out of me.
And here we both stand
congratulating me
for surviving the death defying feat
of loving you while struggling to breathe.

And even when you learned how to breathe
for me, when you could breathe for me,
you chose not to.

And now, because of you
the mere thought of love
conjures images of drowning,
being caught in the undertow
of flesh & desires
trying to find a way to move away
so I can final breathe
& take your diamond-encrusted albatross
from around my weak neck.

Peace & Love,
Rosalind

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About Rosalind Guy

I'm broken & my soul is weary/ my weary soul rebels, fights/ anything & anyone who tries to heal me/I beat my head against a wall of memories/ trying hard to break free from the chain of memories/ I can only be free by saying it so/ i weave a necklace from words and finally/ I find freedom/ free free free. As you can see, words are powerful to me. As Maya Angelou said, words are wallpaper of the soul. I have lots of nightmarish memories that threaten to break me, but I learned a long time ago about the power of words. They can be used to heal and destroy anything that threatens to destroy the person. Words coupled with love have the power to save and heal. I am author of three books: Skinny Dipping in the Pool of Womanhood, Tattered Butterfly Wings, and Blues of a Love Junkie. I am a high school English teacher. I am a former reporter. I am a mother. I am a woman. I am a fierce advocate for those who cannot speak for themselves, those who's voices go unheard. Check out my Amazon author page at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/Rosalind-Guy/e/B00BGH5F88/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1432491754&sr=8-1.
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3 Responses to Albatross Around My Neck

  1. marvaseaton says:

    Beautiful, emotional and deep!

  2. iamcayenne says:

    “Loving you, it seems, has very little
    to do with love after all”…..👍
    Diamond encrusted albatross…HMMMMMM

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