My tears have always come from emotions
I was too afraid to feel.
I ran from pain that chased me
for one entire lifetime. There were those who
wanted to break apart the world I carry inside me,
to abort the life growing in me. Then you appeared.
No, I didn’t find you. But you were there. One day.
My twin soul. It’s like you never even went away.
And now I know that it’s possible to exist
even when the heart stops beating. An emotional beating,
creating death for a damaged soul. But it was a death
that couldn’t be helped. I fell in love too soon
when I should’ve waited for Love to come
and lift me up.
My tears always used to chase my pain
until I found my twin soul again.
Now my tears soak the pages of a love that
didn’t need to be found. It was there all along.
Written on the cosmos of possibility
so we’d never forget to look up toward the stars
where we’d find our names written
against the dark, black, inky sky.
I never craved pain even when I
donned the cloak of inevitability,
was trying desperately not to let go
of what was killing me
piece by piece, destroying me.
I learned how to catch my tears on
the tip of my tongue, pretending
that pain was etched alongside every white line
of the blueprint for my soul evolution.
I cannot pretend anymore when
I finally know it’s safe to throw away the key
and not have to run away anymore.
Finally, I’m safe
in the warm blanket of your love.
Wrapped up in dreams that
don’t strangle & choke me
but that allow me to grow.
For you, with you, and through loving you.
I’ve been crying out my eyes for you
and it’s all because I’m in love with you.
Peace & Love,