If I Love…

He looked in my eyes, told me he
could easily get lost there. That it wasn’t
anything I’d did that made him fall in love
with me, but there he was confessing love
for me. Then he leaned in and tried to kiss me.

If I tell you you’re the air I breathe
will you withhold your love so you can watch me
die a slow and painful death?
Loving the wrong people has left me
afraid to love fully
so I can only offer to love you
conditionally. I need to know
that loving you won’t become slow death
for me.

If I tell you I love you
will you try not to use my love
against me? My love comes in strong doses,
lasts a lifetime of eternities
so if I fall in love with you
can I get you to please slide me
a piece of paper with our expiration date
written in pen
so I’ll be able to prepare for the heartbreak
that will come when this love ends?

If I begin to really fall for you
I mean so hard
you can read in the lines of my poetry
how I has been replaced with we and
how I’ve buried the fullness of my love
in the words of every poem I write,
how you might start to see it’s possible
that I might just dive so far in the love I have
for you and drown and you know you
just aren’t that into me,
please tell me. Don’t drag me to the deep end
and watch me struggle to breathe
knowing there was never a chance
for you and me.

If I tell you I love you
will you stretch the limits of my love
like a rubber band
to see how far it’ll stretch before it loses shape
or how far you can push me before I break?
I watched his eyes glaze over with a
here we go again
and I knew that love was nothing more
than four letters. A word he’d discovered
would get him things he wanted
like please and thank you
and that’s why I had to leave.

Peace & Love,


About Rosalind Guy

I'm broken & my soul is weary/ my weary soul rebels, fights/ anything & anyone who tries to heal me/I beat my head against a wall of memories/ trying hard to break free from the chain of memories/ I can only be free by saying it so/ i weave a necklace from words and finally/ I find freedom/ free free free. As you can see, words are powerful to me. As Maya Angelou said, words are wallpaper of the soul. I have lots of nightmarish memories that threaten to break me, but I learned a long time ago about the power of words. They can be used to heal and destroy anything that threatens to destroy the person. Words coupled with love have the power to save and heal. I am author of three books: Skinny Dipping in the Pool of Womanhood, Tattered Butterfly Wings, and Blues of a Love Junkie. I am a high school English teacher. I am a former reporter. I am a mother. I am a woman. I am a fierce advocate for those who cannot speak for themselves, those who's voices go unheard. Check out my Amazon author page at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/Rosalind-Guy/e/B00BGH5F88/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1432491754&sr=8-1.
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2 Responses to If I Love…

  1. Joan R. says:

    I love your way of writing.

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