I’ve never belonged anywhere.
I’ve only existed in places.
Always surrounded by closed off spaces
That refused to yield to my presence.
Walls bearing recognizable faces.
Beguiling – I sought ways to enter.
And like loose change in a torn pocket
I got lost, ended up in places where
I was easily forgotten.
I seek hiding places now,
Crouching in corners,
Where I blend easily into shadow.
There is no place for me
Where I can simply be
And, in being, to belong.
My own skin sometimes
Swimming in fluid memories.
When trying to inject those memories fails
Sweat drenches my skin. Withdrawal is akin
To burning myself in the flames of yesterday.
The acid of memory is addictive.
I do not want to burn even if
My name might kiss the lips and singe the skin
For I will always be looking for ways in
As I try to force my way into yet another heart
That refuses to love me.
Peace & Love,