When Love Draws Blood

Monday and Thursday nights
we spend in front of the television.
It is only the two of us together.

This is how we kiss, how we hug.
This is how we show love. We
accept that loving is cold, closed off.
The gentleness, the easiness of love
is a lie that does not belong here with us.

Buried in the vibration of our screams
is the realization that this is what love is.
It is always fighting like two crabs in a
barrel, trying to draw blood, trying to end
the misery we caused. Our screams become
arrows pulled back before they are launched;
The target, always moving, is never hit.

We always miss. This is a world
to which we don’t belong, interlopers.
That is what we have become.
We continue to beat on the door
which stands closed before us.
We become the fighters, our anger
misconstrued. We are combatants too.

I have fooled him, made him believe
that I enjoy this time together.
He doesn’t know that this
is how I always feel, inside.

I want to scream out. The pain
always too much, unbearable.
And this is the only time when
it’s okay for me to cuss and scream.
The indirect cuts will never reach him.
He chose oblivious when I chose him.

The blood that pools in the ring
is my blood. The defeat mine too.
And after all the fighting, I am always
too tired. Exhausted.
And sometimes I wonder if I will be able
to continue to carry on. In the meantime,
I will always have our Monday and Thursday
nights.

Peace & Love,
Rosalind

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About Rosalind Guy

I'm broken & my soul is weary/ my weary soul rebels, fights/ anything & anyone who tries to heal me/I beat my head against a wall of memories/ trying hard to break free from the chain of memories/ I can only be free by saying it so/ i weave a necklace from words and finally/ I find freedom/ free free free. As you can see, words are powerful to me. As Maya Angelou said, words are wallpaper of the soul. I have lots of nightmarish memories that threaten to break me, but I learned a long time ago about the power of words. They can be used to heal and destroy anything that threatens to destroy the person. Words coupled with love have the power to save and heal. I am author of three books: Skinny Dipping in the Pool of Womanhood, Tattered Butterfly Wings, and Blues of a Love Junkie. I am a high school English teacher. I am a former reporter. I am a mother. I am a woman. I am a fierce advocate for those who cannot speak for themselves, those who's voices go unheard. Check out my Amazon author page at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/Rosalind-Guy/e/B00BGH5F88/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1432491754&sr=8-1.
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