It’s so easy to lose sight
of who you really are,
the person down underneath,
when you’re constantly drifting away
like a small boat being carried out
on a restless sea. It’s just too easy
to close your eyes and try to be
what others need you to be
never realizing that along the way
you lost yourself in
everyone else’s needs. The longing
awakens in you like an erection
in the middle of the day – inconvenient.
Not now, you think. It’s so easy.
Then one day you find yourself all alone,
sitting in the car in a half-empty parking
lot, ruminating on all the times when
you came close, but not close enough,
and now wondering if it’s too late.
Jarring you away from the calling in
your soul, your phone will ring.
Another convenient inconvenience.
We need bread, the voice on the other
end will say. I know, your whisper
barely carries over the line. They hear
only because they know. Have always known.
Eventually, you will wipe away your tears,
drive to the convenience store where you
will purchase bread that you are certain
is past its expiration date. As you walk to
the front of the store, you will leave the longing
that was awakened in you on one of the
barren shelves. Maybe it’ll be of use
to someone else. You know it’ll find it way
back to you, eventually, that feeling, but you’ll
just tell it, not now. Not today.
Peace & Love,