They always leave, she said
And I had to admit it’s true
That every man I’ve ever loved
One day chose to leave.
“But I ain’t ashamed for nothing
I done,” I said. And I meant it.
Talking this way made me
Think of you. And I thought of
That day when we sat in my backyard.
How later, lying on a blanket I’d stolen
From my mother’s bed, I was able to ignore
The irregular beating of my heart because
It just seemed so clichéd that my heart felt like
It was physically breaking at the same time
That my soul was shattering.
We counted the stars and you described constellations
For me. And somewhere in between we
Wished we could go back to 16. When it would
Seem that we would have forever to
Number the stars in the sky. When it would seem
We’d have forever to keep our love alive.
I counted 45 stars that night. You argued
There were more, but finally you let me
Have my way because it was almost time
To say good-bye.
I sometimes wonder if you already knew
We were saying our final goodbye
That night & maybe that’s why you
Touched my cheek long after you’d wiped away
My tears and maybe it was why you never
Came right out and said those words, good-bye
Just held my hand like it was the first time
Kissed my lips & whispered I love you
Then waited as the words were caught up
In my mouth where I swallowed them & when
I did it felt like a million tiny stars exploding inside
And that was better than any simple good-bye.
Peace & Love,